The Top Ten Funny Jacob Quotes in Breaking Dawn
by Leandra on August 12, 2009
in Books, Cast & Characters
New Moon and New Moon Merchandise
Twilighter’s Anonymous has another top ten list up on their site. This one is: The Top Ten Funny Jacob Quotes in Breaking Dawn.
Here is what they list:
10. “He’s brave. Brave as you are. Didn’t pass out or throw up or anything. I gotta say, I was impressed. You should’ve seen his face when I started taking my clothes off, though. Priceless.” (Page 495)
9. “How much blood would it take to keep her going? At some point, would they start trotting in the neighbors?” (Page 271)
8. “He was right – she was beating herself up about hurting his feelings. The girl was a classic martyr. She’d totally been born in the wrong century. She should have lived back when she could have gotten herself fed to some lions for a good cause.” (Page 187)
7. “I’d been planning to take off and get some Z’s, but the chance to ruin Rosalie’s morning seemed too good to pass up.” (Page 323)
6. “I’m getting older here, Bella. Okay, not technically, but you get the idea.” (Page 435)
5. “You know how you drown a blonde, Rosalie? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool.” (Page 271)
4. “See. Charlie. Afterwards. See Charlie when she’s all sparkly white with the bright red eyes. I’m not a bloodsucker, so maybe I’m missing something, but Charlie seems like kind of a strange choice for her first meal.” (Page 300)
3. “Where is this psycho crap coming from? Are you making this up as you go?” (Page 182)
2. “I felt like – like I don’t know what. Like this wasn’t real. Like I was in some Goth version of a bad sitcom. Instead of being the A/V dweeb about to ask the head cheerleader to the prom, I was the finished-second-place werewolf about to ask the vampire’s wife to shack up and procreate. Nice.” (Page 185)
1. “Say what you want, I still think Dracula One and Dracula Two are creep-tacular.” (Page 631)
jacob is awesome. he’s pretty hilarious at times. he has good chapter titles too.
he is hilarious i love him. go team switzerland!!!!
Thanks! These are awesome!!! Quick question Leandra, 5o u sleep? At all? Thank you so much to u & Jamey for ur time & dedication to this site. U ARE ROCK STARS!!! Now get some rest!
Yes, we appreciate all you do for us!! This site is keeping me sane while I wait for New Moon!
“Say what you want, I still think Dracula One and Dracula Two are creep-tacular.” definitely my favorite…. but he’s got alot more funny lines they didnt put it… i love Jacob, sooo hilarious anf HOTT!!
jacob is the funniest in breaking dawn n i agree with Ebony that is my favorite line also
i love jacob hes totally my fave but my fave quote is number 4!! TEAM JACOB!!
Yeah, Jacob is hilarious. I love the way he thinks. I’m torn right down the middle between him and Edward until Breaking Dawn.
i love the first one thats on my list too jacob its too funny to be true =P but if your read the titles of the chapters you laugh your butt off lol
breaking dawn is my favorite book i love rosalie and jacob ripping on each other throughout the book and the dracula 1 and dracula 2 quote is one of my favorite.
FOXXX:
I do sleep LOL i just have a weird sleeping scheudule, guess i am more like a traiditonal vampire up all night sleep all day LOL I usually go to bed around 7 in the morning and wake up around 1 pm
As long as ur getting ur rest. We need u! Ur the bridge that connects us to twilite, nm, ec & bd. Thanks again for all u do
I love them all!! I hope they do all his good one liners in the movies!!!! Jake totally lightens up the mood.
these are hilarious lol i love the way jacob talks. i think they should have put the one about rosalie making the mixing bowl into a dog bowl in there though. that’s like my favorite!!!
Awwwww!!!!! I LOVE JACOB/TAYLOR SOOOOO MUCH!!!!! I don’t know what I would do if something ever happened to either one of them. But those lines are so funny!!!!! Jake is adorable!
PS. Totallt Team Jacob — ‘Cause he’s hot
OMG!!! #1 and #2 pricless!!!! LOL LOL LOL LOL!!!! soo funny! u rock jacob but edward is my main man 4always!!!!
I ABSOLUTLY LLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUVVVVVVVVVVV THE FIRST ONE DRACULA 1 AND DRACULA 2 R CREEPTACULAR
Jacob, is really funny he’s not like edward he’s more unsensitive and rude and
he doesn’t play around when it comes to telling the turth, i love dogs,but of
course team edward!but some times i cant decide jacob is so funny and edward is
so romantic and a vampire.
Jacob and Emmet have some of the best quotes EVER!!!!!
he also has the best chapter titles and prologue:
“LIFE SUCKS THEN YOU DIE. Yeah I should be so lucky.”
Taylor lautner is so yummy… He is mine so hah.
I love Taylor lautner he is so hot!!
He is mine so evryone can lik screw off!! 
Love you!!
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Hi all
i can’t what to see breaking dawn in bangor movie house.
I have get all the books i love breaking dawn.
hahah nice lines!!! read breaking dawn 5 times bt nvr got bored!!!!!!! i just luv twilight!!!!!!!!